This evening we leave these flat shores and head back to the Kingdom of Rain.
At the beginning of our time in Holland I stupidly promised those who read my nonsense that I would further nonsensify it by providing a Dutch sign that was either rude, or sniggerworthy. It has been surprisingly easy but has turned me into a bit of an idiot.
For example I got all excited when I saw a neon sign that I thought said "Jism Shop" and started shrieking at Meeester to stop the car. It had the letter i missing, and realising this, I was crestfallen and feeling a little stupid about yelling "Stop! Look! A Jism shop!" in front of my family.
I may have no Dutch blogs left in me but bizarrely I have a range of signs that didn't quite make it into the blogs. Anyone reading the Misssives for the first time may get the impression that I am, infact, an adolescent boy. Sadly, I am a 38 year old woman. *Sigh*
Anyway here they all are for you all to access your inner idiot:
Zit Stof: A shop entirely dedicated to all things acne
The Winkel Passage: I'd rather not go in there, to be honest.
Trompet Boom: The reason I like this isbecause Trumpet Bum was apparently
my dad's nickname for me as
a baby as I was prone to loud bum trumpeting.
The Slaap Studio: I got so excited
when I thought this was a beauty salon. (It wasn't)
De Quack: I'll just wait til I go home and go to the NHS, thanks
De OpSlag Box: Lady of Ill repute in a box.
The perfect Christmas gift for that unmarried uncle?
The Homo Monument: My most childish effort.
There was no actual monument. Answers as to what it could be
on a postcard please cos I'm not even going there...
The "Te Huur" Numberplate: For Sale after a misguided blokebought this for his (now ex) girlfriend for a joke
13 comments:
Hello Missy. Just come across your blog and hugely entertained by your signs. I'm in Africa, where sign spotting is similary favourite past time in car (when not picking nose or shouting at kids). Shall look for some to blab about and hope I dont'get caught taking pictures; they tend to be paranoid where I am - would assume I capitalist spy, despite wearing shorts, flipflops, picking nose and shouting at kids ...
Cunera van der Cock is a name you might have found on an office door somewhere. There must be a Dutch doctor or dentist with that name.
Oh, I feel 13 again. Thanks for the giggles.
I can only imagine the stress of having to choose which ones made the cut. Safe travels home Misssy.
Fun with foreign languages! Good times!
Trumpet Bum! I'm tempted to change my name. I once saw a shop window in South Africa proudly proclaiming that they had CUM Books, but there was no porn to be had inside, sigh.
I really enjoyed your posts about the Netherlands Missy. I used to live there, and LOVE this country and the Duchies. I still go back at least once a year.. not only to look for funny signs (when you speak the language they're only half as funny) but for the bikes, the people, the cobblestone streets in Amsterdam and Delft, the houses, the architecture, the sea, the canals, the cheese and the tulips, .. I could go on and on, but I won't bore you ;)
Briefest of responses to you all: Thanks for reading. Good to see you are all as warped as I am. Back in The House of the Flying Martinis at last! 26 hours on the road...am going to bed.
P.S: Special hello to Reluctant and Dee. Nice to meet you both!
You took these all yourself? Awesome idea! Very funny.
Yeah- I think I'll start collecting them and then publish them all together. Sort of coffee table book for idiots like me! The only problem is that the best signs come from the Northern European countries and I can't stand their food.
Also Hello Dan! Hope you'll be a returner!
Welcome home! Trumpet Bum - I love it :-D
You should definitely change your user name to trumpet bum.
I am very impressed by the sheer pathetic adolescent glee you felt when encountering these signs.
Do you think the locals get sick of people coming by,taking photos of their shop and then running away sniggering? Or do think perhaps it just goes straight over their head?
Welcome back to the kingdom of Rain where, I am lead to believe, it has pretty much rained for 3 solid months now. Thats got to be some sort of record no?
Farmer's Wifie: As you've said, only the Brits would do this...but people think we're eccentric nutters anyway, so I am only too pleased to add credence to the stereotype.
And "adolescent glee" is a way of life with me.
Post a Comment