A lot of you may hate me from this point forward. But I’m going to do it anyway
Woooooooooh Hoooooo! School’s Out for Summer! SIX WEEKS! Get In!
Don’t expect me to apologise. In fact I am going to justify why I and the other teachers and lecturers of this country are defiantly not going to apologise for our six weeks.*
1. Two degrees we need. Count ‘em! Two! Doctors and lawyers only need one and they get paid shitloads and people make TV shows about them that make what they do look cool. What do we get? “Grange Hill”? “Teachers”?
2. We are to blame for everything apparently.
“Oh I’ve got a shit life because the teachers at school didn’t like me!”.
Oh, dry your eyes! You were probably a horrible little shit. Your workmates probably hate you too.
“It’s the fault of the schools that our children have no respect anymore and rampage through the town at night with their pants on their heads and scare grannies!”
Thanks Daily Express, love your work.
3. The pay’s not magic, to be honest. I refer you to the two degrees again. Costly business that, getting two degrees. In Europe our French and German counterparts get nearly twice what we’re on. Education is valued over there.
No, really valued, not just by some muppet saying the word “Education” three times in a speech and calling it a policy. By actually valuing those that choose to do it for a living. With actual cash.
4. People are horrible about teachers. We’ve a lot of stick to put up with. First off, we get criticised for our career choice.
That “ Those who can’t do, teach” phrase. That’s absolutely horrible! Who the blazes came up with that? I want to drive to their house, with a dog turd in a paper bag, then set it on fire on their doorstep, ring the doorbell and run away.
Then sit in my car laughing at them when they come to the door and stamp the fire out with their slippered feet. Not that I've ever done that before, you understand.**
So anyone who knows the originator of that gem, let me know.
5. Every five minutes we have to completely change everything we do, because some vote-whore somewhere decides we must “change” because we’re shit.
Like the whole reading thing. Some smarty pants reads an article on the train to his dirty weekend away with his parliamentary diary secretary and decides that using phonics to each kids how to read was crap.*
“We must change it, it’s crap. Never mind the fact that children have been learning to read this way for decades. Never mind the fact that the teachers are in opposition (whinging bastards). I declare Phonics outdated as children now are completely different than children then. It’s a Darwinian thing. Well known scientific fact. Read it in “Razzle” on the train to my dirty weekend away with my horse-faced secretary ”
Ten years later kids can’t read properly.
“It’s the fault of the teachers. They are quite clearly crap!”
And then, quietly, “Let’s sneak phonics back in when nobody’s looking …shhhh! If anyone notices it we’ll blame it on the opposition…or even better, the teachers”
So six weeks of WELL EARNED time away from teaching your kids and making sure they can all do important stuff by the time they are spat out into the big bad world. Don’t begrudge us a wee bit of a rest. Those hols and sharing our working hours with the funniest, liveliest, most important people out there are the only perks we get!
Let the barrage begin in the comments box!
* Yes, yes, I know you all work hard too, but them's the breaks!
** It wasn't me that was a deliquent, it's cos I had bad schooling.
*** They never got rid of phonics in Scotland. We can't play football but, boy can we still read!
33 comments:
Wish I had 6 weeks off!
Oops hold on, I do!
In fact, I've been off since the end of May and won't be back 'til mid-September.
Forgot, I'm a student, still, I'm sure there must be a downside...
(checks)
Nope.
This is here to take the heat off you in case anyone thinks you've got it easy.
I am thinking of you as a fire blanket. Thanks.
And the rest of the public sector is different in exactly which way? The NHS is worse, there are fewer holidays and the pay is by and large worse. And I have 2 degrees too :-P
And you forgot the managers. At least you don't have nearly as many of those, and at least your ones have had to do the classroom bit. Many of ours don't have the faintest idea what is supposed to happen...
But I'll stick to my last - tried teaching and hated it - probably the kids did too...
Glad somebody wants to do it - and gladder that I don't have to.
Forget phonics - what about the Initial Phonetic Alphabet. You are fortunate in being too young to remember that particular disaster.
Fortunately I am too old. That particular political wonder worked wonders for the dyslexia diagnosis industry. The best bit was the invocation of some mysterious neuro-developmental disorder for the plague of "dyslexia".
And Scotland did get that one - even the signs in Edinburgh Zoo in 1970 were written in it, rendering them unintelligible to anyone over 10. Fortunately English translations were provided.
Donaldo- I've been expecting you! I knew it would only be a matter of time before an NHS representative appeared! I just tried to think of something that people could be envious of NHS workers for and I'm sorry, nothing occurred...I've never got why people want to be doctors and nurses. Ill people! Ugh!
Actually any of the public sector would do - I just talked about the one I knew about.
Ill people are not usually the problem - think of Virginia Bottomley in her infinite stupidity talking about "Institutionalising change in the NHS" i.e., institutionalising ineffectiveness as folk scurry around for the beancounters instead of doing their jobs.
Or the universities, most of the Civil Service (Neither civil nor servile in my experience), ad the military which is about a quarter of the size with 10x the committments. Those guys really have it hard.
Most of the teachers I know spend their holidays suffering from a mystery virus, which only clears up a couple of days before they have to go back to work. Sounds shit to me. Have a wonderful holiday, Misssy M, and hope it's dry for you wherever you go.
Mr Newcombe. Third year primary school.
He instilled in me my love of writing and a belief that I could do anything I put my mind to. If I ever won an award he would be one of the first people I would thank in my speech. It was over thirty years ago and he probably doesn't even remember my name, but I'll always remember his.
Just thought I'd point out there are other up-sides to being a teacher as well!
Move to Canada ... 8 weeks for the teachers. We can't do without you.
Psh...
I don't hate you. If I told you how much time I have off each year, you might hate me!
Gloat all you want my dear!
I wonder if it is a British phenomena, this hating of our teachers and blaming them for all the downfalls in society? In Finland things are quite different, they seem to respect their teachers and remember them fondly. The again, with only 30 students to a school (yeah I meant school, not class) I guess they build pretty good relationships with them.
I couldn't be a teacher, certainly not in the UK and think you deserve these few weeks off having to put up with whining, bloody minded teenagers all day.
Hope you have a great time.
What a lot of tosh, honestly. I've SEEN the adverts on TV, you get to work with wonderful, vibrant and polite young people every day. Don't you?
Or perhaps, like my Dad (recently retired but still working because they can't get enough teachers) who was once threatened by some spoilt little oik holding a crossbow!
You deserve the holidays, and more pay, and yes, the pencil-pushers should let the people who have the 'education' decide on the best way to 'educate'.
I can't argue against you at all, both my parents are teachers!
Misssy Melancholy: get thee behind me, viruses! No way! I've not time for illness, too much planned, but yes I have heard of this phenomenon. It's the baby sister of the work-til-you're-sixty-five-and-then-drop-dead the-day-after-your-retirement-party phenomenon.
Alan- I love stories like that. For me it was Mr Lee. But he knows how much I love him- I invited him to my wedding.
George- Or Ireland apparently. One of my colleagues has just bagged a job in a college with 13 weeks summer holiday!
Scot- I guessed you had a lot of time off by the fact that you blog all day long for days! And then- nothing for a week!
Survivor: Having spent three weeks at a Finnish College, there's a lot the Finns could teach our authorities. Their students got the use of the college mini bus and keys to the college- In my place I was refused the opportunity to take the bus test to take my students out. No explanation given. Trust and respect- trashed by fear of lawsuits, Health and Safety breaches and nannyness.
Gordon- As someone who went filming on Tuesday with two students making a horror film and covered one of them in fake bloody and dirt to make him look like he'd been attacked by a werewolf, I'm the one most likely to be wielding a crossbow. But as a prop, you understand. Meeester M has it a lot harder than me- he is a secondary school teacher and has seen all sorts!
More power to your dad!
I was a governor up until recently - I've seen all the red tape and nonsense that teachers have to deal with - your six weeks are well deserved, your pay is rubbish and society is dead wrong in general to be doing you all down.
Wow, two degrees, eh! That must make you so much of a better human being than the rest of us. Thanks for pointing out how great you are, and how it's everyone elses fault that we live in a country full of feral, bestial illiterates.
As I said in another place;
"I'm sick of a country where our education system rears legions of illiterates who all seem to emerge after 15 years with a degree and the inability to form a coherent sentence."
Enjoy your holiday.
Bobbins: Thanks! Have a word with the cretin below, eh?
H- My first piece of abuse on the Misssives!
Yeah, I read your post. I can only hold my hands up and take the full brunt of the blame for the fact that I have singlehandedly turned all the youth of today into bestial illiterates. It's a fair cop; take me to the cooler.
As for being churned out with a degree and an inability to form a coherent sentence.... Well, I look forward to you grammar and spell checking my work and branding me a complete idiot. I'll gladly hand the scrolls back.
You have every right to write the complete reactionary diatribes that you do. But leave me out of it; you know nothing about me or my abilities as a teacher.
Hey, forget Canada, come to Dubai. 12 weeks summer holidays, 2 in October, 3 at Christmas and 2 in March. Housing allowance, car allowance, all year round sunshine.... tempted ?! I think you even get a salary too !
Hope you both enjoy your well earned hols !
Jannylou- Hello and welcome. Give us the address, we're coming over! Dubai sounds great- know a couple of people who've made the move over there. What a life!
The whole summer off thing? In the US, a good number of teachers work some sort of second job during the summer (if they aren't already). For some, it's the only way they can finance that silly "educate the future" thing that they like to do.
Mama Z- I work freelance as a scriptwriter and producer too. So actually 3 of my 6 weeks are taken up with that. But it is rare that freelance work falls into my holidays, I'm usually trying to stuff it into my working week.
Despite the supplementary work, I'm still feeling demob happy!
I won't tell you how much/little time I actually *work* at being self-employed... ;-p
Enjoy your hols!
Hope this means you will be blogging twice a day haha!
I'm not sure where to start on this. I would like to point out that there are two types of teacher. Their lives usually went like this...
1) always wanted to be a teacher(probably) but got stuck in shelf stacking, service, real life jobs but one day went to teacher school and got qualified.
2) always wanted to be a teacher(probably) went to school, went to college/uni, came back to school to teach.
type two are the worst people in the world as they have no experience outside of "schooling" establishments. the first type are worth their weight as teachers and greatly undervalued.
the first ones are also the only ones who don't sneer at you when they speak.
my mum is a teacher, I'm a teacher and I've also worked as non-teaching staff in a promary school. I despise teachers and think they are worth every penny they don't earn. There is a reason they are the worst paid professionals, they are worth the least(to those who fund them).
Education can be so much more than schooling but teachers seem to think this isn't right.
I agree that they are abused by the government of the day. This is out of order as far as I am concerned. The government are there to govern, not tell those who's businesses they are not in, to change. Teaching (and the best way to teach) should be left to the professionals(of that profession) i.e the teachers. They have those degrees to show they can do the job, they should be allowed to.
I would never be a teacher in a state run organistaion. What a nightmare.
btk
I'm not quite sure where you are on this, BTK. You despise teachers? Both kinds or just the second one? You also are one? You think teachers don't deserve to be well paid? I'm a little confused.
Meeester and I both came into teaching after other careers, but I know some damn fine ones that knew straight away that's what they wanted to do and went straight for it.
I do agree that life experience should be valued too- pretty much wouldn't be teaching what I do if I hadn't worked in the media industry beforehand- where would my credibility be otherwise?
Meeester comes from a social work background. But yes, there are plenty Uni lecturers out there teaching journalism that have never even been in a newsroom, but if you get me started on that, it'll turn into a whole other post.
I'm envious - I get a rotten 20 days holiday per year! Two of those have to be taken between Christmas and new year. That doesn't leave me a lot to play with.
(And I have two degrees too - I demand more holidays!!!)
Well I'm glad to see that there are at least a few supporters of teachers, of which I'm one.
hope you have a good time while on holiday.
I'm looking forward to my holidays, shame they're about another 7 weeks away.
Cat- After having 20 days a year in my old job I always say, I will NEVER take my 6 weeks for granted. The French manage to let people take the whole of August off- where are we going wrong?
Tom- Hello and welcome. I agree, it is nice to hear people giving teachers support. But then the Misssy M Misssives seem to attract nice people!
Maybe I am one of those people you know who have made the move ?? ;)
Jan!!!!!! It's you!
Indeed it is !! Love reading your blog, thinks it's fab !
Excuse me folks while I wave at Jan. "Woohoo! Jan! You lucky cow- bet you've got a maid and everything!"
Emmm, well, yeah I have, but only for 4 hours a week, not full time. And I still do my own ironing ! Sometimes.
While I do agree that many teachers are underpaid, it's a bit unfair to compare them to doctors and lawyers. Those professions require the completion of rigorous coursework and passing a challenging exam.
Here in the U.S. at least, the coursework offered by colleges of education is a complete joke. My sister-in-law is a public school teacher and she told me that her *HIGH SCHOOL* classes were harder (she attended a private Catholic academy). The licensing exam is set at a 10th grade level (age 15-16).
I don't think that the problems in American education are all the teachers' fault. Parents, students, administrators, politicians, and the anti-intellectualism of our culture also share the blame. But we need to totally revamp how we select and train teachers in this country.
Crimson- I don't know about the US but teacher training is not a breeze over here. Nor in continental Europe. You are taught in college and on placement in schools where you are continually assessed and observed as well as having to turn in a large amount of course work. It's not an easy option.
Of course my post is cheeky in some of the things I say- my posts always are! But blimey haven't we all had a heated debate!?
It's been like flipping Question Time round here this week. Excellent!
Post a Comment