I’m up at 2.30am. I can’t sleep.
This post is going to be absolutely infuriating. I warn you now. But I have to add, it does NOT contain vomit, which I’m guessing will be a huge relief to some, if not all of you.
You see, the Gods have decided to mess with my head. There I was, quite happily trotting along, living my wee life, thinking myself bloody lucky with no general complaints other than the following:
1. Why can’t I have a dog? It’s cruel to leave a dog indoors without company. But I want one!
2. Why do I have to sit in rush hour traffic? The Today Programme is the only thing that stops me going Michael Douglas in “Falling Down” every morning. And only because it’s a reminder that I don’t want to be featured on “The Today programme”
3. Why can’t I rearrange my life so that I can take my kids to school and be there for them when they come home EVERY day?
4. Why the blazes have I still not got my Mini Cooper?
5. I hate the way I get SAD (y’know, that bogus condition that gives miserable bastards an excuse) every winter because I leave for work in the dark, work in a studio with no natural light, and then drive home in the dark.
Yesterday I got headhunted for a job. A career change that could mean that I am able to wipe off all five of those items from my blackboard.
A few other niggles might even get wiped off in the process:
1. Mmmm, I never meant to stay in teaching this long. Will I become one of those people who used to be, rather than still is? In my case, used to work in a certain industry, now teaches teenagers to do it and only dabbles occasionally when she can be arsed or wants to buy a new car or go on holiday.
2. My beloved boss is near retirement age. What will happen when he goes? Will it be awful? Probably.
3. When boss goes, will I be expected to go for his job? I don’t want to. I like lack of meetings/paperwork/bullshit/tussles with management. His job is full of that. But if I don’t do it, will they get a wanker in to do it who makes my life unbearable?
4. Bloody car parking in the centre of town does my flipping nut in. Why do I have to park my car in junkieville to avoid paying out £8 a day in parking charges?
So here I am, sitting in the semi-darkness writing about something I can’t really go into in any detail about. I’m in my jammies, with a headache and a furrowed brow wondering if I can sacrifice the following positive things, in order to wipe the aforementioned nine items off my grumble list:
1. Lovely people I work with.
2. Comfort zone.
I could go to bed now, but I know I’ll be up for a while now wondering when I am going to be able to make a decision.
Because, right now I just can’t.
(Looks out of window)...It's getting light. Argggh!
14 comments:
I think the answer to all your problems, Misssy M, is a little holiday to Holland.
That and a good massage.
Insteadi and Gorilla- yeah you're right. There are two things I live by internet wise:
1. Never post in the middle of the night when in a funk
2. Never go on Ebay when drunk.
I broke the first one last night. I need to get the hell out of Dodge and over to Holland and start posting the Dutch Adventures of the Flying Martinis.
Sod it! Go for the new job! The lovely people you work with will become lovely friends that you don't see every day and comfort zones are highly overrated.
Of course, I know very little about your life so could be completely wrong....
Sending you a bosie. Whatever decision you make will be the right one, but leave it to compost whilst you enjoy Holland!
Oh and I go on eBay all the time when I'm drunk. I make a good living at it.
There's something for you over at my wildlife corner ~ posted before I had read this :)
xx
I think there's a lot to be said for comfort zones - I'm about to be thrown out of mine at work and I am absolutely dreading it. But there's also a lot to be said for making changes. I'm desperate for a new job and the changes that will bring just now. Being head-hunted is very flattering even if you don't decide to take up the opportunity.
Good Woman: And who's to say there aren't lots of new lovely people ahead, if I decide to go?
Taex: The compost idea is definately the way to go. The good thing about the fact that they've asked me, is that I get to take my time. It's actually the second time they've asked. But this time, they've upped the ante. Serious thought required.
Cat: As for comfort zones I look back on when I left my last job. I almost went through a kind of bereavement. I missed my friends so much that I nearly asked for my old job back. But it turns out that six years on I'm still in touch with the ones I loved the most and they've all left for pastures new anyway.
And yes it is flattering but I'm trying not to let that cloud my hard-headed judgement!
This is great, by the way- it's like toll-free therapy. Thanks everyone!
I reckon you need a night out on the town to perk you up, a bit of flirting, some cocktails etc. Because really as you know, if that are all your problems life can't be too bad....although I am the same, I can worry the slightest problem to death!
Emma- A night out would be great. Fat chance!
And given that we've all just tried that "find out which celebrity you most look like" website and Meeester came out as being a cross between Jake Gyllenhaal and Mel Gibson, I may just do my flirting at home!
Jake Gyllenhaal- bloody hell- I wish!
I will be absolutely no help with the dilemma I'm afraid. Snails I can do, but dilemmas? I leave them to people who have a brain that works in the manner that brains are supposed to.
Glad you liked the pic...I bet nobody realises how stroppy they can get at photo-shoots. 17 rolls of film and a huff when I asked it to take its crown off. Such is life as a professional amature.
Have a great holiday and remember those carrier bags!!!
Meeester @- Y'see, you ask someone to take their crown/shell off, and all of a sudden they are filled with dread that they have "helmet hair". Completely understandable.
When you're looking at "stay vs. go," which option makes you least want to vomit? I don't know if that's at all helpful, but now the post (or at least the comments) contains a vomit reference!
I say get two dogs! They keep each other company, and it's not really any more difficult to have two, instead of one!
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