Meeester comes back from work today with a tale of a presentation given to school pupils about careers in engineering by an acting group. You may have seen the like before. Struggling actors pay the rent by being involved in a community or corporate theatre groups and do little skits with a message for money. Traveling minstrels for the modern age.
These outfits are easy targets for blog humour and I am not about to re-live the experience for comic effect, as most importantly it wasn’t me who witnessed it; it was Meeester. I can only relate Meeester’s utter contempt for the whole ordeal.
OK, I am going to take the piss a little.
Meeester comes back with the scenario. The theatre group promise a show that will entice youngsters into the fruitful career of engineering. The main characters are played by an array of mid to later thirties actors. And here’s where it gets bizarre. They propose to outline the advantages of a career in the fast lane of engineering by simulating the characters of:
Ant
Dec
Alex Ferguson
Coleen McLaughlin
Wayne Rooney
What the blazes that lot have to do with CAD programmes, building the world’s superstructures and planning civilisations, is anyone’s guess.
My guess is that a bunch of middle aged guys in the education department of a government organisation came up with people that they thought teenagers would respond to. There is no other explanation as to how wrong this whole concept could be. The characters could have been anyone. The list of players could easily have read:
Pete Docherty (“Hey guys a fruitful career in civil engineering could be just the ticket to get me off the smack”)
Big Brother contestant Charley (“I’m not being funny right, but engineering’s well wicked”)
Billie Piper ("I gave up time-traveling and the only decent role I’m ever going to get to plan the pipelines of Eastern
Britney Spears (“When I get clean and git ma kids back, you can bet your ass I’m gonna get my SVQs!”)
Simon Cowell (“Well, I thought that was atrocious. Have you ever thought of going into Town Planning?”)
It wouldn’t matter who was portrayed, as long as “the kids” could relate.
Meeester had to sit through the whole thing. As he watched the good work he had done on careers guidance slowly being unraveled by bad acting and misinformation about what makes teenagers tick, he struggled not to flip.
He even considered injuring himself quite badly with a retractable pencil, so that an ambulance could be called and he could get the hell out, or better; possibly stop the whole performance for the benefit of all..
To illustrate how bad it was to me, he gave the Ant and Dec segment as an example.
Ant: "Wae Aye , man. I fancy a bit o’ that engineering lark. It sounds fantabulous!”
Dec: “Aye Man, but how d' ye get into that like?”
Ant: “Ye can get yer SVQs lad. Ye can gang tae the college!”
Dec; “Fabaroooni! Man!”
He is not joking; this is how it went on. I almost feel like tracking down the lawyers of Ant and Dec to inform them that their names are being used in such a way. I’m not usually one to defend the famous, but in this case, I actually feel that a serious injustice has been done.
Then, as if their audience aren’t alienated enough, some actors dressed as Alex Ferguson, Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLaughlin appear and so some skit about how much folk in engineering are earning and how simple it is to get into the oil industry.
Except Meeester says that they make out
But what must the kids have thought? Are any of them seriously thinking that engineering sounds cool because some no-mark actors badly acted their way through a cringe-worthy representation of famous people they couldn’t give a damn about? Of course they aren’t.
Meeester suggested a far better alternative. Take them to the Shell office car park and let them wander around checking out the Ferraris, BMWs and Mercs of the workers inside. Then show the bank statements of a couple of 19 year-olds who’ve just spent a fortnight on an oil rig.
Job done.
One good thing has come of the afternoon's presentation though. The five kids that wanted to go to RADA are now applying for proper jobs.
9 comments:
Oye! Get out of head, you anticipated what I was going to say the country saving money on future unemployment benefits for out of work actors.
That sounds bloody awful!
Tell Meeester I'm sorry that the fruits of his labor were rotted by these clowns! (and that he was subjected to it as well)
LOL
You gotta luv acTORS don't you, dear luvvies.
Of course it would be much easier to luv them if they were, ohh I dunno, on a remote island somewhere...
Except these days they'd make a reality TV show out of it.
BAD ACTORS ON HAM ISLAND!
And yes, without a doubt some pencil pushers came up with that one. If they'd get off their bums and ASK ... ohh never mind.
Totally agree about showing them the car park and bank statements. They've got to have something to hold on to to get them through uni in an engineering faculty - and Ant and Dec, even the real ones, wouldn't be able to provide that!
It's sad that actors have to indulge in such nonsense to pay the rent. I admire people with the confidence to get up and perform, but they need a good script. Promoting engineering is best left to engineers.
Oh dear this is one of those stories that makes you cringe while you read it. I have been present when actors have attempted to teach executives presentation skills. If you thought one Simon Callow effusing was bad enough imagine 4 copycats all imploring their charges (financial types) to express themselves.
You have not witnessed Hell until one of these groups comes into the work place to do a sexual harrassment story FOR ADULTS
Scotsman: The sad reality of most drama school graduates. it would be sad if actors weren't such pains in the arse (I used to work at a theatre..)
Scot: Oh, he can handle it! He subjected people to countless school shows when he was a kid himself.
Gordon: Hey like the new pic! I work in factual and corporate video production in order to get out of working with actors. My brother's girlfriend works with actors and comedians and she's never finished complaining about what horrors they are.
Insteadi: I knew a girl who was studying engineering at Glasgow Uni. She was the only female in a class of 500. You would have thought she'd have her pick of the bunch and I suppose she did, 'cept they were all the dullest men on earth.
Gorilla: Actually only engineering is best left to engineers. I'm making a video for a bunch of engineers right now and they all think they're Stanley flipping Kubrick. They are not. I AM!
Ms Robinson: Why don't people stop believing there's anything more to actors than acting? They can't save the world, they are not role models and they do not have anything of value to add outwith of a play, tv programme or film.
I listened to an interview on Radio 4 with Sienna Miller trying to get us all to leave less of a carbon footprint. I tell you, I know where I'd like to leave my footprint, lady!
Joseph: O!M!G! I bet that was hilarious. You HAVE to blog it!
This disturbs me in ways I can't describe.
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