It’s dark. The scene is a house on a hill. Police cars are everywhere and the house is cordoned off. There is a small crowd of neighbours watching the comings and goings of the CSI team.
Gil Grissom arrives in his SUV and grabs his bag before entering the dark house. As he enters, he switches on his flashlight as it looks moodier.
“Grissom, you’re here. Good.” says Brass, “We’ve got a possible B and E, but no sign of anyone else on the premises. Just this smell and this mess.”
He gestures to a couch that has been ripped apart. There is foam and stuffing everywhere. A child’s Baby Annabel toy doll is lying on the floor, still blinking and calling for mama, but with her innards ripped out.
“And the family?”
“Go by the name of the Flying Martinis. No real previous. Married, two kids. All gone.”
“I see, who was first on the scene?” Grissom asks.
“I was” says Sara, looking up from swabbing an area of carpet, “No bodies, no inhabitants, just this mess…and that smell”
“Have you found anything?”
“Traces of urine…not human. Animal, maybe?” she says with a business like air, unsuccessfully trying to mask the sexual tension between her and Grissom .
Greg Sanders suddenly rushes in the front door, “I’ve just come from the back garden. For want of a better word, it’s carnage, Grissom. Plants are eaten, lawn’s all ripped up, there’s broken household items everywhere; I’ve never seen anything like it. No bodies, but there’s woman’s underwear under a bush. It doesn’t make sense.”
Footsteps are heard overhead.
“Who’s upstairs?” asked Grissom who has felt the vibrations, not hearing the noise, given that career-threatening inner ear problem.
“Catherine, she’s looking into the possibility of the underwear belonging to a stripper.”
“Why’s that? Do you think it might have something to do with all this?” asks Grissom, confused.
“ Nah, it just wouldn’t be the same without Catherine revisiting her old stripper days, It’s kinda what she does in the show” remarks Brass.
“Yeah, and we get to have a flashback to her in her heyday. Something for the Dads, isn’t that right Brass?” says Nick entering the room looking foxy.
“You said it” Brass says with cheeky smile.
Grissom moves upstairs to see Catherine.
“What are you getting Catherine?”
“I’ve been swabbing the bedroom and the upstairs bathroom. I’m getting traces of urine. But what’s strange…”
“Is that it’s not human?” offers Grissom.
“How did you know?”
“Sara’s downstairs reporting traces of animal urine. The lab will tell us more. What else ya got?”
“Well, there’s a lot of toys everywhere, all of them completely destroyed. Whoever did this is outta control. I’m thinking psychotic.” Catherine says as she shakes her head.
All of a sudden there’s a commotion downstairs.
“Grissom! Get down here! Someone, call the SWAT team!” yells Brass.
The team are faced with a black and white beast leaping about the living room.
“Well” says Grissom with his customary opening scene pun, “Looks like this place has gone to the dogs…”
Cue: “Who are you?” by the Who and Opening Titles.
11 comments:
I should of seen something like this coming when you got the pooch. I don't want to be a critic, OK I do, I would have been much more impressed with an NCIS version but that might just be down to Ziva. Not sure where tyou would have got the navy connection from but you're the creative type I'm sure you could have managed it. Purely down to the absence of Ziva I can only give you four stars out of five for this.
Scenes of devastation are what dogs do best. Been dogsitting for the last week and now have about 100,000,000 tons of dog hair to remove.
I have never seen CSI, but this still made me laugh out loud! Sounds just like our place on a Friday evening (apart from the women's underwear in the rose bush, of course. We don't undress outdoors in Yorkshire.)
Ah life with a dog! The good news is they do eventually stop peeing in the house, and tearing things apart...
I remember when Rocco and Chloe used to do such things.
Hang in there my dear! (not that i think you're losing it, or anything) :)
What gets me about CSI is that the vics and the perps and everyone they come into contact with only have trace evidence from things or places related to the crime on them... Nobody has a bruise on the ankle from being bumped by a trolley-wieldig old biddy in the supermarket. We got stuck in the sand yesterday, but if I got murdered today, the "trace" on my car mat will not have anything to do with my murder!
Forensics must therefore be quite a mission, eliminating years of accummulated "trace", and not nearly as glamorous as they make it out to be on TV.
Still, I love watching CSI! Good post!
I agree with Scotsman, but you can replaced Ziva with Gibbs in my case.
This post goes firmly in the file of "Why I am not a dog person".
Scotman and Joseph: But I don't live on a ship!
Donny: You need to come out see our boy.
Ms M: And you think i get undressed outside in the North of Scotland? I mean there was that once, but after the arrest and all that....
Scot: He's actually doing ok really. Although he does have a wee thing for eating horse poop out on our walks which makes him ill. I bet you don't have that problem in Chicago!
Hanlie: Swabs from my house would bring up all sorts of probable cause.
I *heart* CSI, this was so spot on I was actually in tears of laughter, NCIS also fab btw Gibbs is so fine ;) we were lucky in that both of our dogs we never had as pups, they were both rescue dogs although one was quite young and my dad had to repeatedly take her for walks at 3 in the morning for a couple of years, thankfully I was only 10 so although she was my dog I dodged the responsibility.
Never had that problem, a least not with horse dung.(Chloe ate her own a few times, I think so she wouldn't get busted for pooping in the house) She hasn't done either of those things in a long while, thank goodness!
OK, you still owe me from last time! You've been tagged! Write a meme on the evolution of your blog. See mine for any questions you have. I'm looking forward to seeing what you write!
yeah, dogs can be pretty shitty (in both meanings of the word) can't they? But then they look at you with that cute face and wag their tail like you are the most amazing person in the world and all is forgiven. I'm such a sucker! Great post by the way :)
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