Saturday, 29 September 2007
If CSI came to the House of the Flying Martinis
It’s dark. The scene is a house on a hill. Police cars are everywhere and the house is cordoned off. There is a small crowd of neighbours watching the comings and goings of the CSI team.
Gil Grissom arrives in his SUV and grabs his bag before entering the dark house. As he enters, he switches on his flashlight as it looks moodier.
“Grissom, you’re here. Good.” says Brass, “We’ve got a possible B and E, but no sign of anyone else on the premises. Just this smell and this mess.”
He gestures to a couch that has been ripped apart. There is foam and stuffing everywhere. A child’s Baby Annabel toy doll is lying on the floor, still blinking and calling for mama, but with her innards ripped out.
“And the family?”
“Go by the name of the Flying Martinis. No real previous. Married, two kids. All gone.”
“I see, who was first on the scene?” Grissom asks.
“I was” says Sara, looking up from swabbing an area of carpet, “No bodies, no inhabitants, just this mess…and that smell”
“Have you found anything?”
“Traces of urine…not human. Animal, maybe?” she says with a business like air, unsuccessfully trying to mask the sexual tension between her and Grissom .
Greg Sanders suddenly rushes in the front door, “I’ve just come from the back garden. For want of a better word, it’s carnage, Grissom. Plants are eaten, lawn’s all ripped up, there’s broken household items everywhere; I’ve never seen anything like it. No bodies, but there’s woman’s underwear under a bush. It doesn’t make sense.”
Footsteps are heard overhead.
“Who’s upstairs?” asked Grissom who has felt the vibrations, not hearing the noise, given that career-threatening inner ear problem.
“Catherine, she’s looking into the possibility of the underwear belonging to a stripper.”
“Why’s that? Do you think it might have something to do with all this?” asks Grissom, confused.
“ Nah, it just wouldn’t be the same without Catherine revisiting her old stripper days, It’s kinda what she does in the show” remarks Brass.
“Yeah, and we get to have a flashback to her in her heyday. Something for the Dads, isn’t that right Brass?” says Nick entering the room looking foxy.
“You said it” Brass says with cheeky smile.
Grissom moves upstairs to see Catherine.
“What are you getting Catherine?”
“I’ve been swabbing the bedroom and the upstairs bathroom. I’m getting traces of urine. But what’s strange…”
“Is that it’s not human?” offers Grissom.
“How did you know?”
“Sara’s downstairs reporting traces of animal urine. The lab will tell us more. What else ya got?”
“Well, there’s a lot of toys everywhere, all of them completely destroyed. Whoever did this is outta control. I’m thinking psychotic.” Catherine says as she shakes her head.
All of a sudden there’s a commotion downstairs.
“Grissom! Get down here! Someone, call the SWAT team!” yells Brass.
The team are faced with a black and white beast leaping about the living room.
“Well” says Grissom with his customary opening scene pun, “Looks like this place has gone to the dogs…”
Cue: “Who are you?” by the Who and Opening Titles.