I was going to leave you all hanging.
I’m not particularly proud of this. But, I guess you all want to know what can possibly make a love sick Italian nineteen year old Lothario voluntarily want to get on a train?
When faced with an immovable Italian force you need to get ruthless. The Allies did it with Mussolini, the Picts did it with Caesar’s Roman Army and the FBI did it with Al Capone.
I did it with Salvatore.
I enlisted help.
I thought spending the evening in the pub with another man on the Friday Sal wanted to take me out for dinner would be enough to sicken him off me for good. It wasn’t. We were two weeks in and he was showing no sign of leaving. If anything he was getting more insistent and it was too much to cope with.So, I reluctantly asked the pub-mate in question, who was really only a friend of mine, to come over and make himself at home.
“Bring your toothbrush”, I said, “This may take a couple of days”
In the event, the presence of another man pretending to be a love rival did the trick remarkably quickly. An evening spent in the company of a man who was very polite, sitting a bit too close to the object of his affection and very interested in when Sal was going home, was too much for Sal.
It wasn’t the chat that did it though, it was the beautiful acting on the part of my mate. He was very convincing. He arrived and held my face in his hands as he kissed me. He helped me with the dinner and put his arm around my waist subtly. At one point he lovingly brushed my hair away from my face as I ate my dinner. Quite brilliant. Not too full on, and enough to make the boy pack his rucksack that evening.
Twenty-four hours on and he was on the train back to London and Dover and off across the Channel. Later on, I phoned my friend.
“Thanks for that. He’s gone. I owe you one”
“Thank Christ for that,” he said, “For a horrible moment last night I thought I was going to have to shag you”.
Cheers.
********************************************************
Other News:
The Misssives were reviewed as a whole on Top Blog Mag this week. See if you agree with what the reviewer said.
16 comments:
Where's your bloody email?
Ms R: gillian@spontaneousproduction.co.uk
Why did he need to be subtle? He should just have just snogged you.
Ignore what the reviewer said about the length of your posts. I think your blog is great and I enjoy reading it.
Pah. He's obviously not a REAL friend or he'd have been quite willing to shag you. Isn't that what friends do??
Hmm, perhaps I need to revisit my 'friendships'...
Gorilla: I might have shrieked and given the game away!
Grayacre: Thank you so much for what you said. It's never easy to hear you go on a bit! Hurray for long attention spans!
Gordon: He was OBVIOUSLY trying to cover up his true feelings. The cheeky monkey.
I'm so glad you posted this as I was indeed hanging on the last chapter.
I actually laughed out loud(like in real life as opposed to the chatroom type) at the last line. Priceless.
btk
I'd be afraid to ask for my blog to be reviewed! Strikes me you didn't do too badly, and picking on Blogger templates - the only option for the less technically blessed amongst us - is just plain mean.
I got some funny looks on the bus when I burst out laughing at the punchline. Thanks!
And as for TB mag - there's nothing wrong with a simple web design, it's content that counts. But if you want a hand, just say the word.
Haven't seen the review yet but then I don't pay much attention to self proclaimed critics. Everyone has there own view on what works and what doesn't work.
Back to you post, I would have thought having to go to the lengths of borrowing an extra springy mattress could have been fun. If nothing else you could have spent the night/week practising the trampoline for the Olympics. Although the international committee might have frowned on the When Harry Met Sally sound effects.
Ooooh, hello! You've redecorated!
Not sure about that review; since when is 1000 words lots? Ok, it's quite long for a blog, but it's not really that taxing, especially as you write the way you do.
Anyway, for shame on you for what you did to that poor boy. I wonder how HE blogs about it all...
BTK: I must do cliffhangers more often!
Cat: I knew what I was getting into and to be fair, the old template did stink. I am glad that people are saying the post length thing is off though. Some stories need telling in more than 500 words.
Farty: Glad it made you laugh and got you the reputation as that "mad guy on the bus". And thanks for the offer. If I need to know how to do something (after I've given it a bit of thought) you'll be the first I contact.
Scotsman: The bed thing would have been cruel and awful but it was a length I was prepared to go to, in all honesty.
Joseph: Yeah, spots are SO last year. I've gone minimalist! Thanks for your kind words about the writing and the post length- it was the only part of the review that I kept going back to in my head.
Oh and as for Sal's blog...oh dear, I never thought of that.
When you go to the lengths of breaking a heart of another you have to be cruel, in this case you were at least doing it to be kind.
What happened to your blog, its slowed down somewhat.
Your reviewer must have a really short attention span I applaud them for being able to struggle through that unfortunate affliction and finding the time and energy t complete the review
Scotsman: You're right, it has slowed down a bit. I've not been posting as often this week for a few reasons: was away all weekend on various Meeester related birthday jaunts. But worse than that I have come down with horrible tonsilitis. Am ill and in jammies whining on the couch just now...
Am working on a post just now though...
Thank you for finishing this story, it was on my mind all day! Great way of getting rid of him - full points for that one :)
I do hope you are feeling better soon Misssy. Glad the spots have gone, they were driving me mad if I'm honest. If you want some help with a spiffy redesign just say the word. For you my dear, I won't charge a penny :)
Wifie: Yes, now spot free. Who knew that nutmeg could be used for clearing spots?!
Thanks for the offer btw. I may be in touch!
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