Post-its from the poison pen

Image from passiveaggressivenotes.com

Ever stuck up a note, or written an email that was a thinly veiled rant disguised as a polite reminder? This is the kind of stuff I mean:

“Would everyone please remember to put the milk back in the fridge as I find cottage cheese in my tea rather a turn off. Love you!”

OR

“To All Tenants, Please remember to lock the back door when you come back in from the garden as personally I’d rather not be murdered in my bed by an axe wielding intruder”

OR

“Many thanks for the copious notes you have left me asking me to do things that treat me like two year old. It really is so kind of you to act as a surrogate parent.Mwah!”

OR

“Would the person who left the office ladies toilet unflushed please be reminded that we have evolved from cavemen who leave their droppings on display to warn off others and mark our territory”

Image from www.passiveagressivenotes.com

The passive aggressive note is something we’ve all either done or been in receipt of. Several ex- flatmates of mine excelled in this sport. One girl, Kirsty, whom I did not know before I moved in with her, pretty much communicated wholesale with me through the medium of snippy yet overly faux-polite notes. It seemed that after every action I performed in our communal space, I would find a little note asking me to perform that action differently.

For a while I would collect them to show my friends and have a giggle over them, but in the end frankly I didn’t even have enough time to read them myself never mind share them with others a second time. Kirsty was a girl who would have her boyfriend over to stay every night, with never a thought to my privacy, and who once left me a note after I had offered my chum our living room floor after she missed her train home.

“Misssy, Can you please let me know if there is going to be a stranger in the living room in the morning. Love Kirsty” (always with the love, the kiss and the smiley face- the passive aggressive hallmarks)

And passive aggressive notes aren’t just for the estranged flatmates, even people who are your so -called friends can turn into a passive aggressive notewriter.

A girl who I am still in touch with (against all odds, frankly she doesn’t deserve me) loaned me a blouse to go to an awards do when I was a student. After I had worn it, I laundered it and went into her wardrobe to put it back. On the inside of the wardrobe door was a post it with this written on it:

“Fuck off out of my wardrobe”

As passive aggressive notes go, this one was heavy on the aggressive with the only passive element being that it was left for me to find in the inside of a wardrobe rather than any issues being addressed directly to my face. In true passive aggressive style, I never mentioned the note directly but was sure to tell her that her shirt was washed, ironed and back in her wardrobe.

The passive aggressive notes don’t stop when you cease to do the communal living thing, though. Just this morning I received a group work email that was clearly having a go at the behaviour of one person but was thinly veiled as a polite instruction to all staff. How many of those have you received this week?

And what would the passive aggressive notes of history be like. I imagine the likes of this to have come from the pen of Ann Boleyn, for example:

“Dear All at Court

It may have slipped someone's mind but I believe that someone did promise to love and honour someone else and not chop their head off. I wouldn’t mention it but it seems that someone's been a bit busy fornicating with another woman, and it may have slipped their mind- Ann B ;0) ”

Or from the pen of Neville Chamberlain directed at Adolf Hitler:

“ Would all dictators be reminded that they must not leave their troops in the Sudetenland. All persons leaving their armies in independent countries without permission will be dealt with severely. Thanks! :>)

This post was inspired by my favourite new internet haunt http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/. It invites readers, Post Secret style, to send in all the passive aggressive notes that come their way. Great reading.



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