Since I have been back from
It is the last day of the trip and the trip leader has a “surprise” for us. We are promised that we will see something that we have never seen before. The surprise is 90 minutes away on a bus and for some reason we are told to bring socks.
On the way the surprise is revealed. We are visiting “The Rat Temple”.
Now, for a laugh, I would like you all to picture Judith Chalmers of “
"Instead, when they died, all of them would temporarily inhabit the body of a rat before being reborn into the tribe. Therefore, the rats are considered to be incarnations of storytellers and are much revered. Therefore the temple is home to a shitload of filthy rats. Let’s join Anneka Rice and her young family as they sample the delights of Rajasthan and the
And the socks? Well, everyone knows you need to take your shoes off to enter a Hindu temple, don’t they?
Personally, I didn’t bother with the sock idea. Somehow, I reasoned that rat urine would still reach my feet if it soaked through my socks. Rat-pee absorbing socks actually disturbed me more than going barefoot for some reason. I went au naturel through the rat excrement and pee. Skipping gaily as I went. With a song in my heart. And a tic in my left eye.
Before we left the bus, Meeester, told us all the story of the
I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head. Now I’ve heard everything. God bless those little blighters and their Bubonic Plague; they’re holy! The misunderstood little buggers. What’s next? A slug shrine? A maggot palace? A cockroach chapel?
There are a couple of things we should know before we go in:
1. If you stand on a rat and kill it (fairly likely- if one of the disease ridden bastards so much as touches me, it’s getting reincarnated right there and then) you must pay money to the temple. Really, a collection plate would be so much easier. Still, then you wouldn’t get to kill a rat. I check how much money I have with me to see how many I can afford to squish.
2. If one (gulp) runs over your feet, it’s lucky! (although if one runs over my feet it’s luck will have run out, as I’ll hoof the bugger skyward)
3. Special luck goes to the person who spots The White Rat. Oh goody; a game! How much do we owe if we squish the white rat? We have a whip round.
4. The rats have plates of food lying about for them. Feel free to bring your own food and have a picnic with the vermin. It's lucky! Even better- dip your fingers into the dishes of rice the disease ridden buggers are eating and help yourself! It’s even more lucky! No joke- we SAW people doing this.
Still, in poured the tourists. And good luck to them. They’ve got their PR sown up.
I am currently writing to the Church of Scotland Head Office in
So, in summary:
- Journey to
: 90 minutes Rat Temple
- Time in
: 10 minutes Rat Temple
- Journey back to hotel: 90 minutes
- Time spent scrubbing feet with antibacterial soap, Dettol, bleach, iodine, metholated spirits and wire wool: Forever.
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