(Courtesy of DC Thompson)
Dear Ms Junior Misssy,
It has come to our attention that you are in serious breach of copyright.
Reports coming into our office have indicated that several of the "jolly japes" and characteristics belonging to the well-loved characters of our top-selling Beano comic have been, well, pinched.
We feel that we need to draw this infringement of our creative copyright to your attention and, frankly, ask you to stop this potentially criminal behaviour immediately.
We have outlined your most recent infringement for your deliberation, and we hope, your embarrassment.
Plaintiff: Junior Misssy
Location: The Master Bedroom of the House of the Flying Martinis
Evidence suggests that you did, in fact, enter the bedroom of your parents at 7.50am on Monday morning of 24th January 2009, and, having previously applied a myriad of spherical red marks to your face using a felt-tipped drawing pen, you then proceeded to claim that there was "something wrong with" your face. Something that may render you unable to go to school. Something that may be potentially contagious.
Miss, I think you will find that this jape is the copyright of our foremost female character, Minnie the Minx. Our records prove that Ms Minx did in fact use this ruse in the following issues of The Beano:
- 12.09.1972 (supposed measles)
- 16.09.1986 (supposed radiation sickness)
- 23.10.1999 (supposed necrotising fasciitis), and
- 01.07.2005 (supposed allergic reaction to a botox injection)
You will also find, if you were to examine these issues for yourself, that Ms Minx did not manage to convince her father that the marks were indeed lesions of a biological nature as, we believe was also the case in your personal attempt. Furthermore, if you were to look back in the issues of 1972 and 1986, you would find that Minnie did, in actual fact, get "the slipper" for her feeble yet hilarious endeavours at truancy. In later issues, she would have been subject to a grounding and laterly she is forced by her father to sit on the "the naughty step" as is the current fashion. Frankly, we prefer the intial old-style punishment but we're not allowed to espouse child beating anymore, so that's the end of that.
Anyway, we digress. These infringements must cease. Your brother is already on his second warning, after his disgraceful attempt to emulate the actions of Bash Street kid hero, Plug, by doing his level best to go to sleep in his school uniform so as to save crucial minutes in the morning, and voiding the need to get dressed. You will find, should you ask your brother, that our reprisal is swift and merciless. And not at all funny.
Rest assured, our lawyers have been informed and you will be hearing from them in due course.
(Owners of the Beano and all the Characters and jokes there-in)
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