Don't you hate it when you read a blog and the blogger in question gives a long and boring explanation as to why she's not been posting much/her blog's turned to a complete sack of crap? (Delete as appropriate).
Don't you also hate it when the reason they give for this lack of attention to, let's face it, something that very few people could actually give a stuff about, is something nauseatingly self congratulatory? Something like "Sorry for not posting, people, but I've been so busy with spending my lottery win..." or "Sorry for not posting people, it's just that what with that affair I'm having with (insert actor of choice here-used to be Brad Pitt was a popular choice, suddenly not so much now he's grown a raggedy old beard. Gerard Butler, then. Except don't you think he looks like a potato?) I'm lucky if I can make my way to the computer for physical exhaustion".
Well, I am that nauseating blogger. The Misssives have suffered of late. Effectively they've suffered for the whole of this year, and my attendance on some of your blogs has also been pitiful. Nauseating reason? Well it's because I wrote a book with a certain other recently sloppy blogger called Emma. It was a lot of work, we had our ups and downs, like finding an agent, then finding out she was a crappy agent, and and feeling very sorry for ourselves, but then carrying on anyway. But then, last month, a rather splendid Australian publishing company with impeccable taste bought our book. So the nauseating reason is, we wrote a book called Cocktails at Naptime and it's getting published. With illustrations and everything! Huzzah!
I promise not to turn into one of those awful people who bang on about their book all the time, but I will let you know when it's out there (November 2010) in case you want to shoplift a copy.
I'm editing it just now (because there are loads of shit bits that have to be made not shit) so again posting may be light for the next couple of months. Just wanted to tell you my news and let you know that I really appreciate the people who still do read the blog and comment occasionally. It will go back to being a worthwhile read soon, I promise.
C'mon it's not that bad, I could have been blogging about the state of my teeth every week (doing fine with the braces, by the way- amazing improvement- I look like Marie Osmond) or my dog (The Black Menace is fine, he's still pulling me off my feet and biting the face off the odd soft toy, but otherwise he's a little champione) or my husband (Meeester got singled out by the dame in a panto we went to on Saturday and ridiculed- it made his day. He now wants to be a pantomime dame. Those reading this who know him will be able to visualise this). Or what my kids are up to (that's them at the top of the post standing next to the dead sperm whale that washed up on the beach beside us-. We know how to entertain them kids, we really do. You've never smelled anything like it in your puff).
And, so, how are you?
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15 comments:
As you may or may not remember, I too suffered from a bout of blog ennui earlier this year. Thankfully I had excuses that almost everyone believed as "I really just can't be arsed right now" might have made some of my cyber buddies feel slightly less worthy than normal.
I had wondered about the teeth though, they reminded me of the Kingston Bridge in Glasgow - constantly having remedial work but never quite big enough for the gap they had to fill.
Thanks for alerting me to Gerard
Butler although as you say if he is hot he's a hot potato. Almost as much of a head scrather as Daniel Craig - no he's fine from the neck down but facially looks a lot like Vladimir Putin. In my defence I always thought Brad Pitt looked like an ape - these days he looks haggard and I bet he rues the day he ever met "I wanna have 40 kids" Angelina. Where was I? ....it is still not quite real ...but we did it. Still don't quite understand how!
You owe us nothing so no need to apologise or anything. If I was paying a subscription then of course you would have had a letter from my lawyer by now.
I know why they're called sperm whales by the way, just in case you ever want a random fact, and it's nothing to do with looking like a giant sperm. Even though they don't.
Despite your sneaking in your big 2010 news, thereby encouraging us to respond, aptly, "CONGRATULATIONS!" -- despite all that, I say, you're clearly a modest person.
Exhibit A: You did not point out to Misssive addicts that your Twitter stream (@misssym) is every bit as entertaining and quite a bit more often updated, albeit in teeny little besomish blethering 140-character bits, as the Misssives themselves. If I hadn't followed you there months ago I'd be chewing my nails by now.
Yes, the info is there in your right sidebar... way down the page. Thought you wouldn't mind bringing it out into the light of day.
Well done. V.cool...and more about dead whale please!
I think it says something for the level of excitement in my life that I am really pretty jealous that you got to smell the whale. (Now that sounds like it should be a euphemism for......something)
What? That's amazing!
Both book...and dead whale, I mean.
I would totally buy your book!
I've been neglecting my blog for the last three months for no particular reason.
Gordon: The comparisons with the Kingston bridge don't end there. You don't really appreciate how vital they are to the smooth running of the whole infrastructure til they're out of action.
Emma: I don't get the whole Gerard Butler thing at all. I could understand it if he had charisma but on Jonathan Ross the other week there was no sign of any.
Jaggy: I want to know that trivia. You never know what that Millionaire final question will be. I'll take it all.
JES: Thanks John, the twitter really only serves as a way for my mother to keep tabs on me.
Alex: Until the internet has Smellovision I can add nothing.
Sarah: Thanks on both counts.
Hanlie: Sometimes you just don't have the energy. Why force it?
Well, okay. Some people can write books and blogs at the same time, but I think it's a special talent. Or maybe they have "people" who do one or the other for them. Will there be an international book tour? Can you let me know when you'll be signing books in Ottawa in case it's not widely publicized? Thanks. And really, well done both on writing the book and finding a publisher.
Thanks XUP. In my wildest dreams I would never even dare to imagine that i would be in the position to be on a book tour of any magnitude, but if i ever am then it's a date!
If it includes Fauldhouse Miners Welfare Club, I'm there!
Better now that I've caught up with the Family M.
Did you have the kids slice off some meat for tea?
Congrats on the book! Will look to shoplift it in 2010.
Yeyyyyy .. whhheeeee! (Catching up on multiple Misssy posts here). Well done! Very very chuffed for you xxx
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