I've logged Sonny the Black Menace in. He's apparently written a blog post in reply to my earlier one. He's been working on it all week. Let me know what he says.
It’s not often I speak up but I am concerned about Misssy M, my woman. Something is going on with her and I just can’t figure it out. She’s fine at home, doing her usual, pressing lots of buttons on things and shouting at the puppies- all her usual habits. No, it’s when we go outside that she starts behaving strangely. Normally, we go out and we’re off. She throws my ball for me, collects little my souvenirs, which I don’t mind, cos let’s face it- who doesn’t like a bit of poo? It’s the least I can do for her for giving me all that scran. Yes, normally the two of us are off and away. What a laugh we have! I come back ready for my bed and a good bum cleaning session and she goes back to pushing buttons on things and shouting at the puppies. I thought we were happy. I thought she was doing great. But no, it’s all changed.
Thing is, folks, she’s started doing weird stuff. Like, out of nowhere. Here’s what’s been happening: as usual she gets all my toys together and her little souvenir bags in case I do something she might want to save for later, then she puts her steadying chain on to her hand and clips it to my collar for support (I often wonder how she manages when I’m not with her) and out we go. But instead of us quickly heading off to the playground, she keeps stopping. Is she in pain? Cos she keeps on making a sound that sounds like “Heeeeeeeel!!!” like she’s hurt herself. The shriek of pain comes after she stops so I’m thinking she’s having trouble walking. So I give her a hand,as you do. I pull her along to see if that will gee her up. And get this; she squeals even louder and jerks her arms about. Listen I’m not one to be down on a woman who is clearly having physical and let’s face it, mental problems, but the tugging and jerking thing is a bit annoying. I know that’s selfish of me, but I’m doing my best to get the woman moving here.
And it gets worse. I go out with my woman the other day and she takes my man with her too. Christ on a bike, I’ve got to pull them both along now! As usual they are joined together so , you know, I’ve got to put that extra effort in. You're welcome! Listen I don’t mind, I can pull and steady them both, I’m a working strain, you know- the hard stuff comes easy to me. But then my woman was whelping even more. I think she’s taken a turn for the worse. I wonder if my man sees it too? he doesn't seem to. She even got rewarded with a glass of that clear yellow stuff she likes when we came back, so he must think she's doing ok. Oh I got NOTHING by the way. Not even a wee biscuit or a sniff of one of the cats' bums.
I don’t know, I’m at my wits end. Can anyone help. What could be wrong with her? Is it old age? Should I be worried that it might be "that time"? She hasn't had any new puppies lately, that could be it. I dunno. You know how bitches get...
Let me know in the comments box. Hope you like the latest photo of me at the top by the way. That’s me looking for a crisp if anyone’s got any spare.
Licks to you all,
Sonny, The Black Menace
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