Jay Kay's Uncle tries to take a snap
of him for the family album
I’ve never really classed myself as a Mummy blogger, although from time to time I post about my family. But I want all those Mummy bloggers out there to know, you’ve got a shelf life, ladies. The day is going to come, sooner than you think, where you will not be able to write about your kids. And sadly it is the point at which they start doing the most bloggable stuff- the teenage years. You can pretty much time it- they will no longer let you write about them as soon as you catch them spraying on deodorant or voluntarily brushing their hair. The day you hear them running a bath for themselves is the day you need to look elsewhere for material.
Think you can have a good laugh about their awkward attempts at adulthood? Think again. Think you can make fun of their personal hygiene issues for the enjoyment of your readers? Move on. Think you can take photos of the state of their bedroom floors and invite strangers to openly mock them? Don’t dare even try.
Indy is online. And Indy does not want me involved in his online life unless I am actively promoting his films like some kind of unpaid public relations flunky, or driving a stunt car for one of his films (uncredited I may add. Click here to see the film.), or giving him any money via Paypal for any reason. I have done nothing, I've barely even been on his pages, but I am banned nonetheless. As are his previous online buddies; his dad, his Uncles, his Aunties and his grandparents. We’ve all been given the cyber heave ho.
A month after asking to be my Facebook buddy the boy has dropped me like so many aging female TV presenters from long running shows. If anything he says or does comes up on my timeline due to a connection with mutual acquaintances he demands to know how I came by such top secret information as if I am actively hacking his account like a Wikileaks operative. He drew the line at raking up some misdemeanour I was involved with in Finland a couple of years ago, but thankfully common sense and the horror of losing access to my spaghetti bolognaise prevailed.
When my book was being published he issued me with a strong warning, which could be admissible in any Scottish court, “There better not be anything about me in there”. There isn’t, son, it’s all based on your Dad who is the blogger's equivalent of a performing seal. As long as he's in the room, you are safe.
So exploit the cute and hilarious antics of your kids for as long as possible, Mums and Dads, and keep an eye out for new material, because your kids will be turning into Indys soon enough. And knowing kids these days, some may even have blogs of their own to dish the dirt on you.
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25 comments:
This is SO TRUE! My son has de-friended me on Facebook though up until yesterday I still knew his password so could have a sneak peek now and again. He has now changed his password. I'm bereft.
He doesn't mind me talking about his baby years: he thinks my videos of him doing jigsaws and singing songs may go viral! But there are many little gems I now have to keep to myself. Shame.
Hoorah for the perfoming seals - my husband is also excellent blog fodder.
Raises an interesting and serious point though (although it was funny). What point should you ask permission. Did you hear about that writer who wrote about her teenage son's drug habit and he took offence. I think he might have even taken her to court. Can't remember name of author...
Chris, that was Julie Myerson.
You're right- it IS a very interesting subject. Also what about Julia Chiles and her book about her infidelity? Her poor husband.
Great post. I love the caption on the photo.
A very timely warning. We are at the beginning of the online adventure, my children do not even have an email account yet.
I try not to be a typical MummyBlogger, but it is easy to slide in to that category when so much of life revolved around the family.
Myerson article is here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/4971982/Julie-Myerson-author-of-book-about-sons-drug-abuse-admits-writing-family-column.html
Off to look for the Julia Chiles one...back in a mo.
Sorry- Julia CHILDS! Adrian Chiles get out of my HEAD!
Here's a review of Childs's book in which she rakes over her infidelity: http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/2009/11/review_cleaving.php
She got a LOT of flak.
Myerson- that's it!
I really don't know how I feel about it. On the one hand her book might help other mothers in that situation, on the other- she wrecks her relationship with her own son. maybe it was already in tatters and she thought- what the hell?
The loss of material might be worth it in return for voluntary bathing.
You had me at Jay Kay punching a guy...
It looks like Jay Kay can handle himself in a square go...he seems to like getting his pic taken whilst 'in the mood'
Good blog again Misssy...A friend of mine and his partner, who live out in Torphins has just had the dilemma of letting his 12 yo daughter go on FB for the first time... We all advised him not to let her be his pals or his pals pals...which he was agreeable to...they have to have their secrets too
My seven year old has already issued a ban on me putting pics of her up on my blog although I think she could probably be bribed with chocolate....but that's a pretty rocky road I don't want to start going down ie she already excels at manipulation and I can hear her saying "All right mum you can write about the anecdote when I put the cat in a dress and it accidentally went to school in my backpack - but it'll cost you three Twixes and the use of your mobile." I guess my blogging days are indeed numbered.
The thought of my children blogging about me in years to come makes me shudder. Hear that? That was me, shuddering.
I look forward to the day my kids become internet and peer conscious and demand I stop writing about them. Because I shalll gladly acquiesce. For a price. First lesson in life, kids: blackmail pays well.
ha ha what a great post! I'm guessing I can't use the old 'But what will I blog about if we don't have another baby??' either!!
XxX
I think my time isn't far away. Boy One is 11 and Two is eight, they've started to demand to see what I've written in the blog about them. I suppose I'll just have to find other things to blog about - like the beastie that keeps crapping in my garden, like why the HMIE inspector thought parents would be able to keep answering his questions after the school bell went, like, well, loads of stuff actually.
Mine thankfully have rolled their eyes at my blogging antics, but not demanded that I stop. I am very careful not to overdo things in regards to them though.
Both they (& their mates who approached me!) are also still my friend on FB, but again, I am careful not to comment too much on what I see coming through the feed. (They are 18 & 20 BTW)
Thank God for husbands eh, thankfully they will keep us readily supplied with blog fodder.
That Julia Childs link is it the right one?
I know that day is not far away for me either which I was OK about but it hadn't even crossed my mind about her blogging about me. Just like 'This Mid 30s Life' I am shuddering at the thought.
Trish: Ooh you sneaky Mum you! Password stealing?
Mme Lindt: Hello and welcome to the Missives! It’s going to escalate fast.
Loth- you make a very valid point.
Alex: My dream is that he will turn up at my door and punch me for printing it.
Chas: no I agree- my son asked me to befriend him initially- I knew it wouldn’t last.
Emma: Nah, you really don’t write about your kids at all- as long as there are phenomena like porn creep, you’ll be fine! Oh I must also tell you I had a dream last night that we met! We went on holiday together in a big camper van.
Mid 30s: Hello and welcome to the Misssives! I could FEEL you shudder!
Steve: You’ve got the right idea. I might try your tactic.
Ghostwriter: Hello and welcome to the Misssives! No way- I am closed for business on that front!
Ellen: Yes I just need to find the adults that i can write about who don’t know about The Missives!
Cate: but you pimp their band out and everything- you should be getting paid!
VB: Oh is it not working- I’ll go back and actually find the Guardian one I initially tried to find.
Digz: I’d love to read your daughter’s blog- sign me up!
thank the heavens for husbands, eh? what would we do without them?
"There isn’t, son, it’s all based on your Dad who is the blogger's equivalent of a performing seal. As long as he's in the room, you are safe." Ah, bless! x
"There isn’t, son, it’s all based on your Dad who is the blogger's equivalent of a performing seal. As long as he's in the room, you are safe." Ah, bless! x
Indeed. I wish I could write about my husband, but his family read my blog... they don't read the blogs I comment on though, maybe I can just dish the dirt in tiny little comment sized pieces?
Great post! I try to keep the boys and the husband out of it as much as possible. Sounds as though that's a good rule to live by...
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